Midweek update, COMING HOME

Monday

- Sorted nut

- Butchered Tiny - got maybe 200kg of meat off him

(Rocky... Roli?)

Tuesday

- Started harvesting again so blowing the irrigation and stick picking as usual

Wednesday

- Stick picking and working the back of the harvester - showed Gaby how it all works and on her first run on the back a fucking log came through and smacked her on the head hahahahah

- Ate sausages made from Tiny for dinner. They were sooo good!

- Booked flight home for Sunday! I've done everything I wanna do here, my birthday is coming up, loads of my mates finish exams next week and then disappear off around the country and abroad, Lydia finishes exams the week after and the only thing keeping me here was to get my 2nd year visa but ceebs with it coz I don't want to live here and if I was gunna travel more I wouldn't come back to somewhere I've already been so thought I'd just bail!

Thursday

- Stick picking as usual! 

Friday

- Blowing the irrigation, stick picking and back of the harvester

Will miss these guys!

Chasing chickens and tipping tractors

Monday

- First thing Luke cut his finger down to the bone changing the blade on the grinder. Forgetting to turn it off at the socket beforehand, he slipped when tightening it and flicked it on by accident so had to go to hospital in Toowoomba for three days to get it fixed up. (NB. I don't use that machine don't worry)

- Sorted nut

- Gaby arrived

Tuesday

- Showed Gaby around and how stuff works

- Sorted nut, stick picked and blew under the irrigation

- The return of the retard chicken. This chicken was taken to Warren's other farm the day before I arrived on this one because it gets bullied by the other chickens and since has been bossing everything around on the other farm so they've brought it back.

The second they let it out it was chased by a possy of normal chickens and crammed itself under a trailer to escape. Really funny but can't help feeling a bit sorry for the lil fella.

Wednesday

- Stick picked and worked on the back of the harvester

- Thought it was going to rain so worked hard and into the dark to get up all the wind rows.

- Warren nearly tipped the tractor on a steep downhill section in the orchard where the 4 trailers full of nut he was towing back pushed the tractor on the downhill so it jack-knifed and a wheel lifted off the ground! He saved it by steering along the contour though and snaked the trailers to the bottom!

Thursday

- Sorted nut from big trailers into smaller bins using the trailer hopper so they can be poured into the smaller hopper for the sorting line.

- It rained the night before so sorted nut no harvesting.

Friday

- Sorted nut and levelled off the silo as it reached capacity so it didn't cone up and jam.

Saturday

- Sorted nut from trailers into other trailers! New 20 tonne silo needs to be built using shipping container so there's somewhere to store the nut as the other silo is full and drying nut out for the next few weeks.

- Put the new wheels back on the red quad.

Sunday

- Sorted nut and gurneyed Luke's boat clean as it's going off to be sold

- Gurneyed the foldaway table so we have a clean surface to carve up Timy (the pig) on. Plan is to make sausages and bacon from him!

Footnotes (ie. extra stuff)

Boring blog really not much different happening, especially with harvesting rained off. Finished The Walking Dead season 5 and The Three Musketeers audiobook. Ewen baked a chocolate cake with almonds. It was really fucking good. I made the Oli special (pasta pesto sausage). The piglets are cute as always - they bite your hand coz they think it's food! I've officially lost my Croc Dundee kangaroo leather and crocodile skin hat and it's been several weeks now so I think it's a lost cause. Yorkshire Tea almost gone so remind me to pop that on the shopping list. I want to catch the retard chicken but have to wait until the dogs aren't around otherwise they'll think it's okay to chase chooks. I had pistachios for the first time too, why the fuck are they green and purple? Being such a fussy eater as a kid is coming back to haunt me as the others take the piss out of how many things I've missed out on:

Still to eat: Skittles, twiglets, fruit winders, most seafood, solero, twisters.. 

Ticked off: cheese strings, sushi, pecans, pistachios 

My hair

Head shaved in Townsville:

End of the Roadtrip in Melbourne:

And 5 weeks later after a haircut by Jonny:

Things I miss

- The fam

Obviously had to be top of the list, don't wanna piss anyone off with my birthday approaching! ;) Haha but seriously a lot of things aren't the same when you're on your own - Christmas and New Year as events that usually revolve around the family are obviously strange but even little things that no one else really gives a shit about like getting a cold or ripping your trousers!

- My Lionel Richie mug.

I just want a mug that is used solely by me and isn't too small like every bastarding mug seems to be. I refer to my mug back home which is the ideal size for a brew and has a picture of Lionel Richie's face with "Hello, is it tea you're looking for?" written on it. Comedy Gold.

- Wearing my jacket.

I got bought this jacket by Nana for my birthday but since I left in October it's only come out once in Melbourne for a few chilly days. Hasn't been worn enough and its gunna be bloody summer when I'm back in England so won't be able to wear it for another 6 months (although knowing English summers maybe I will). 

- Computer

This really should be top of the list. It's such a convenience that I thought I could do without by bringing along an iPad mini but honestly doing things (mainly job searching) on a laptop would've been much faster. I'm lucky I could borrow Aaron's for 5 months.?

- Internet

Wifi in Australia is shit. Not just free wifi which is shit everywhere but even in peoples homes! Utter shite. Couldn't even stream TV series in Sydney.

- Good headphones 

Haven't heard good quality music in a loooong while.

- The pound coin

The pound was such a staple unit of currency. I used it almost every day so it's weird to think that I haven't held a pound coin in my hand for over six months.

- Cheap beer

If you follow the blog you know my habit has been to drink goon rather than beer. This is not only because goon is dirt cheap but also because beer is expensive. You're paying double the UK price basically - £25 a crate!

- Pints

It's all schooners here - a mere 3/4 of a pint, just isn't the same. A pitcher has just over 3 schooners in so like 2.5 pints! Nowhere near the usual 4! 😭😭😭

- Ale

Nuff said

- Pork sausages

THEY EAT BEEF SAUSAGES?! Why?! Pork sausages are like a specialty and nasty beef sausages are the norm. Not on.

Getting paid, shooting and hunting! WEEK 5

Sunday cont.

- We got given some presents! As well as finding out we were getting paid, they bought us belts! Nice ones too :)

Monday

- Stick picking as usual! First paid day though woohoo

- Burnt all the stick from the stick picking up top so had about 6 or 7 huge bonfires 

Tuesday

- Stick picking...

- Watched Rocky for the first time!

Wednesday

- Helped move an elevator into place in preparation for emptying the silo. 

- Did some stick picking

- Worked the back of the harvester

- Took the rear wheels of the quad off after one got punctured

Thursday

- We've already hit 50 tonne this harvest (last year total was 55) so we're trying our hardest to keep up - currently we've run out of trailers to store nut in and now it's all at a bit of a standstill!

- Cleaning out broken trailers ready to get fixed up/new wheels

- Sorting and moving nut around the shed to fit more in!

- Emptying the silo 

Friday

- More fixing of trailers and stick picking

Saturday

- Blowing nut from under the irrigation all day

Sunday

- Tiny (the big pig) trapped his foot in the metal shed in the pig pen and ripped one of his toes off so can't walk properly anymore and because there isn't any way to fix it, it'll just get more painful for him over time so today Luke shot him.

- First head shot didn't drop him because he's such a big pig and it took two shots till he dropped. It shook me up a little when he didn't go down with the first shot because he was squealing in such pain and running around with blood dripping from his head. I felt cruel even though the reasons for killing him were legit.

- After he dropped and was killed by the second shot he was still writhing and kicking about on the ground as if he were alive but apparently it is just nerves.

- Next task was to chop off the balls from the males in the older batch of piglets. In the end we only did one of them but that was nuts hahahaha! Seriously though it's a horrible business cutting nuts out. Had to catch the piglet first with a protective mumma pig guarding them then hold it down while Luke made an incision and popped each ball out. 

- We went up top to gut and decapitate Tiny which was a messy affair:

- Sorted some nut for a few hours then went hunting with Luke, Rob and the dogs. Cool to see the dogs in action and the wild pig tracks - Luke and Rob had legit Croc Dundee knives too!

- Lexie is a "finder bailer" so when hunting she'll find a pig then bark and try to keep the pig scared and trapped, Radar is a "finder holder" so instinctively finds and actually holds the pigs by the ear until you get there.

- Finished the day with a big fire and a beer as per!

Footnote

**We often have headphones in as we work so I've been listening to audiobooks too - downloaded an app for less than $2 with loads of public domain books (aka. pre 1923 books) read by volunteers and so far I've got through The 39 steps, The Call of the Wild, White Fang and The Three Musketeers**

Getting run over, dead turkeys and PAID WORK

Your weekly update:

Monday

- Sorting nut. The nut, twigs and rocks that the harvester picks up go into a hopper which feeds through a few bits of machinery. Once it reaches us on the conveyor most of the sticks, really light objects and other stuff have been removed and then it travels along a conveyor belt and we pick out cracked nut or nut still in its green/brown husk.

- Went up top to burn some of the shit nut and the small pile we set fire to burns for weeks because it just smoulders slowly through.

Me trying to casually stroll through the smoke from the smouldering nut

Tuesday

- Sorting nut again!

- Watched LOTR Fellowship

Wednesday

- Cleaning around dairy and shed

- Fixing sweeper

- Watched LOTR Two Towers

Thursday

- Began harvesting again as the ground way dry enough so main job was stick picking.

Either side of the tractor are 'wind rows' - all the leaves, nut and twigs that fall off the trees after they're shaken are swept and blown into these two rows and we go down each row with the tractor and trailer and pick out the bigger sticks so they don't clog up the harvester.

- I got run over! Ewen ran the trailer over my foot but it had no sticks on and was less painful than I imagined. 

- Watched LOTR Return of the King.

Friday

- Woke up to find out the dogs had killed the one female Turkey of the three. Luke wasn't happy and Rob has locked Molly up in a cage for 3 days so far. He said she's lucky because if it was one of his old dogs he would've shot it. 

- Stick picked as usual, the tractor is my bitch now I can properly drive it and reverse with a trailer attached which is easy once you get the hang of it.

Saturday

- Was on the backpacker blower most of the day blowing nut out from under the irrigation but did a bit of stick picking in the afternoon too

- Watched The Lincoln Lawyer

Sunday

- Stick picking all day which was knackering BUT found out some really good news - we're going to get PAID!!💰💰💰

- Essentially Ewen and I were looking to find paid work and Anina is leaving regardless so that would leave Matt and Jonny only. Wwoofing rules say we work for 5 hours max for our food and grub so they've offered to pay us $20 an hour for extra hours so $60 extra a day if we do 8 hour days. 

Tractor driving, more dead sheep, a nearly dead Wallaby and the floods!

***WARNING: graphic image content!***

Monday

Raking and blowing nut that had been shaken down for a lot of the day then stick picking once the sweepers had made some wind rows for us.

Once we fill the trailer with branches and sticks we go up to the firepit and there's a clever way of getting all the sticks off in one. There's a rope tied to the back of the trailer that runs on top the trailer (before the sticks are put on) and onto the ute, then once all the sticks are on top of it we throw the rope back over all the sticks and wrap it round a tree then drive the ute so all the sticks are pulled off. Bosh!

Tuesday

Stick picking in the morning, found two dead sheep which we dumped in the firepit - they're dropping like flies coz they have worms and Luke didn't drench them this year! Although one of the dead ones today was definitely killed or finish off by something else..

Got to drive the tractor today up on the top field! That was fun :)

Wednesday

Stick picking all day but finished early at about 3 and left the farm for the first time in 16 days!

The French wwoofer Ewen bought a van for his roadtrip so we went to pick it up but he needed someone to drive the Ute back coz he'll be in the van (me).

It was an eventful trip to say the least. Firstly Ewen couldn't get the remaining money out for the van so had to ring his bank in France to sort but after this blip we were problem free for a while! We got to the van, paid for it, signed some stuff and filled up with petrol no worries.

BUT the sun had gone down, I had 32% battery left on my phone and Google maps decided to take us a different route back via some incredibly windy roads. I very very narrowly missed a Wallaby and did run over a rabbit although I beeped at it and thought it had gone under the middle of the Ute coz I didn't feel a bump but Ewen assured me it exploded under my rear tyre. Oops.

At 1% I pulled over, tried to memorise the route as best I could and hoped I wouldn't be trapped in the middle of nowhere with Warren's rabbit-killer Ute and a French guy who barely speaks English!

Somehow, my memory of the route and sense of direction came together and with a few wrong turns and missed shortcuts we made it back alive which was a miracle to be honest because there are no signs to the farm and I've only been driven here once (when I arrived) in daylight and we were coming from a different direction in pitch black! 

Anyway that's enough adventure for one day.

Thursday

Raining. No harvesting. Did a bit of fencing around the sheep pen because they want to drench them (to kill the worms) so made like a funnel shaped paddock that help funnels them through into two gated pens where they can be drenched. After that nothing really.

Friday 

Another quiet day - went into Toowoomba (nearest big place with cinema) to watch the new Avengers! Lots of rain on way back though - hit a huge puddle that must've shot up 20 foot in the air! Covered the windscreen but at least none of the bridges were flooded so we made it back alright.

Saturday 

No rain but still wet so no harvesting just sorting the nut from the rock/stick that's already been collected so it can dry out in the silo. Went to look at the creek which had covered the road after the rain last night. 

Doesn't look like much - 15cm maybe but fast flowing so can easily wash a car off. Mia didn't go to work and while I was  sat down there I saw one fella turn back in a Ute. Luke says if you're in a heavy 4x4 you'd be fine but it's not worth the risk otherwise. 

The reason the road isn't built higher is because it is designed to flood, it's called a floodway - if there was a bridge it would be more expensive to build and be likely to get washed away.

Sunday

Drenched the sheep - funnelled them through into a penned off area and went round with the bottle of drench attached to a gun and gave each sheep a squirt in the mouth. Easier said than done! They're stronger than you think, more afraid of you than you think and really don't want to have their medicine!

Here's Jonny shitting a sheep:

(This was after the drenching - clipping the hooves off one of the rams who couldn't walk properly)

Then we sorted some nut before watching the Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight which was awesome but annoyed there wasn't a KO!

Sorted some more nut and went to pick up Matt from Gatton - another guy I worked with at VMG who's going to work with us on the farm :) 

Oli out xo

Escaping pigs, snakes, fire and piglets!

Did very little last weekend - watched some films, started watching Daredevil a new Netflix series and watched some snooker - not much to do around here really unless we get a chance to go hunting, fishing or shooting crows!

Monday

Moved some of Luke and Mia's old stuff out of a big shipping container down to the shed but it was raining so had to abandon as the vehicles churn up the orchard in the rain. It cleared up a bit in the arvo (afternoon) so we went to check on Pepper Pig who is very pregnant - decided to move her into the small pen near the house so that she would be nearby and because if she gives birth the male pig in there often eats the male piglets as some kind of territorial thing so they have to be kept away till they're a bit bigger.

All this was easier said than done - we got the trailer close to the outside of the pig pen and opened the fence. Pepper (who probably weighs twice what we do) had no interest in getting into the trailer so escaped and ran the wrong way! Then another pig escaped too and it was mayhem! Managed to get the second pig back into the pen (eventually) using sheepdog tactics and then ushered Pepper towards the trailer and got her in it with a mixture of food, sweet talking and shoving!

 Tuesday

Finished moving what we started on Monday and emptied the shopping contained ready for its transformation into a silo for nut. After that we just filled in a few potholes and weeded along the fence all afternoon. Saw a brown snake after Jonny chopped it's head off whipper snipping and we bled out (ie. cut the throat of) a sheep that was dying to kill it quickly.

Getting some sexy man hands too!

Wednesday

Climbed up the silo tank and cleaned the shute which had loads of old and shitty nut in it. Then fed the pigs and in the afternoon cleaned around the house for Sadie's first birthday party this weekend! Washed off the spit which we'll use for a goat Luke shot a few days ago. Warren brought us a 10 kilo bag of pecans from the processing plant which is worth about $300!

Thursday - 6 months since I left England

Did some odd jobs in the morning then used the "backpack blower" (a petrol leaf blower that you wear like a rucksack) to clear all the nut from around the sheds and containers so machinery could move around without crushing it. Then "whipper snipped" (strimmed) all around the sheds and along the front fence.

Built another fire in the firepit tonight which was badaaaasss

We've been playing a lot of Uno Stacko because it's the only game we have! It's like jenga but you can only pick certain blocks based on the last block picked! It's become almost a game or two every breakfast/lunch/dinner haha - we have a loss tally Ewen is on 4 losses as of today and Jonny, Anina and I are all tied on 2 each.. for now.

Also I've been semi-banned (more like rationed) from eating biscuits coz I have a lot of tea so I have been smashing through the biscuits #soznotsoz - my excuse is that I'm drinking lots of tea to stop myself drinking beer!

Friday

Practice harvest - Luke shook all the trees on two rows to get all the nut that was ready to fall down to the ground.

Afterwards, they use sweepers (vehicles with big spinny bits on the front) to sweep all the nut and leaves and sticks that dropped into lines or 'wind rows'. Our job then was stick picking so we went along the wind rows and picked out any big sticks and branches that the harvester would struggle with. After this we were on the back of the harvester as it went down the rows picking out the smaller sticks and rocks that travelled through the harvester into the nut bins. 

We worked later than normal today - till about 6:40 and I was proper dirty by the time we finished!

While we'd been working on Friday Pepper gave birth to her piglets too

Saturday was a lazy day - had a barbie for late lunch and watched snooker! Also shaved off my terrible chin pubes after 11 days of growth! 

Sunday was Sadie's party so lots of people were at the farm. Really windy day so lots of nut fell which is good! I watched loads of snooker too #standard

Other random bits:

- The chooks (chickens) climb from the low hanging branches up into the trees at dusk (to avoid the dogs overnight!) and the turkeys roost at the top of the water tower

- Luke & Mia have two "indoor dogs" Marlon and Indie and two outdoor hunting dogs Radar and Lexie (4 and 6 months old). Big Bogan Rob also has a dog called Molly (6 months old) so there are 5 in total. The one cat is called Henry - he gets bullied by Radar all the time and can get into the kitchen through the roof so always gets into our rubbish at night if we leave it uncovered and brings us dead rats/other animals as gifts to wake up to!

- Jonny's girlfriend flew up from Sydney this weekend but coz it's so far to the airport he set off to pick her up before she'd even got on the plane! Bloody Australia!

- Wild pigs are hunted round here but you have to have permission to hunt on people's property - sometimes poachers drive along the road at night with spotlights and loose pig dogs but if one of the dogs came onto this property if it caught a scent it would get shot by the guys and Warren has threatened poachers before with a gun. Police wouldn't do anything because it's so far out! Crazy shit.

Farm life week 1

So I forgot to pack my penknives in the hold luggage and lost both at security (sorry Lyd - think you bought me the small one with my name engraved on) but I was still allowed through with two lighters, lighter fluid and a fork? meh. 

Caught our connecting bus from Brisbane Airport to Gatton and that's where we were picked up from Monday afternoon.

Big Bogan Rob picked us up in his Ute with Jonny (my mate from Sydney who told me about the farm in the first place) and a French guy Ewen who is the other wwoofer. Drove out to the farm which took about 20 minutes.

The house is right in the middle of the property. 

The wwoofers stay downstairs (ground floor) and the family live upstairs on the 1st. [wwoofer is a willing worker on an organic farm]

Warren owns the farm and is here at the moment for harvest but lives on another farm. Luke (his son) manages this farm so this is his place and him and his wife Mia live upstairs with their baby girl Sadie. Rob isn't a wwoofer so has a room upstairs too so down here it's myself, Anina, Jonny and Ewen. We have our own TV, kitchen, dining table, fridge stocked with food and bathroom so it's pretty self contained.

Jonny showed us round the property and I got to drive the quad which is great fun!

We all went upstairs for a big meal on the first night and watched the first episode of the new season of Game of Thrones!

Tuesday (Day1): moved a shed and power washed the megabins (where the nuts go) saw my first actually dangerous spider - a redback ooooooooo

Watched I am Legend, had a barbie and made a fire in the evening.

Wednesday (Day2): sorted nuts on the conveyor - picking out the bad ones and then went to the pig paddock to chop down the weeds with a sythe!

They'd built a new firepit so we all sat round that for a bit then watched Three Kings.

Thursday (Day3): moved rocks out of the pig pen, moved the sheep into a different paddock, found some baby rats, cleaned up the shed and used the tractor to pull up some big roots in the pig pen.

Watched Remember The Titans.

Friday (Day4): raked up leaves and shit and dumped them in the firepit, filled in some potholes, fed the pigs, cleaned the machines ready for harvest then cleaned our digs and were all done by lunchtime! 

It's the weeeeekend!